I took a moment today to pause and reflect. I always try to take these moments to "check in" with my self; asking, "how am I feeling?" "What do I need right now?" And I found myself reflecting on the counselling journey; the amount of hard work, resilience, and courage it takes to really look within and uncover all the parts of you that have stayed hidden; whether it's the unspoken hurts, the forgotten scars, or the scars that have resurfaced. It is no easy task. And I have said it before, but I consider it a privilege to witness the courage, determination, and resilience it takes to show up and do the work of therapy.
I then thought back to my own personal therapy sessions, which came to a natural end when I had achieved my qualification. And my therapist read me a poem by Portia Nelson, which has stuck with me to this day, because it speaks not just to me, but to all of us who embark on this journey of self-discovery and healing, and I felt compelled to share it.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
I.
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I still don't see it. I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
It isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there, I still fall in.
It's habit. It's my fault. I know where I am.
I get out immediately.
IV.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V.
I walk down a different street.
© 1977 Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery
This poem explores themes of mistakes, habits, and personal growth, using the "hole" as a metaphor for challenges, patterns of relating, or areas of self-doubt. For me, it shines a light on the beauty of self-awareness and personal growth. I believe that self-awareness is the ultimate gift to ourselves. The process of therapy is ongoing; it might take a few "falls", but when it clicks, it can be and is a powerful tool.
There will be 'holes in your street' that you fall into; some harder to get out than others. As your therapist, I will offer a safe, neutral, and patient space, and guide you towards acknowledging and recognising the "holes", and if needed, find new ways around them.